Under It All

I've now been over to the lovely island of Saba twice since living here in St. Maarten. I went yesterday to go diving with my friend Chris, whereas the last time I visited, it was to hike.

I'm not an expert diver, obviously, but yesterday's journey into the deep blue sea was fantastic. We did two dives; one was a wall dive, during which we descended Saba's island wall about 80 feet under the water's surface. The coral and plant life was magnificent, and I saw the biggest fish I've ever seen in my life. It turned out to be a red snapper, and it must've been about four feet in length and about two from back to belly.

The second dive was an ocean dive, not far off the coast of the island, but to depths of about 75 feet. About five to ten thousand years ago, when Saba last erupted, the lava of the volcano ran down into the ocean and made some interesting finger-like formations. We dived around and over and up and down these fingers, dipped our hands into the warm yellow sand that reinforced the island's volcanic capabilities, and were blown away by the phenomenal colours and expanse of the reef. We were visitors to sea turtles, to hundreds of kinds of fish and plant life, and to dozing nurse sharks! It was just breathtaking, and I did squeal in delight a few times into my regulator. It really does make you think.

When I was under there, only hearing the sound of my inhaled tank air and exhaled bubbles, I was struck by the strange twists and turns our lives take. I mean, there I was, breathing underwater, accompanied by a Divemaster, a Dutch kid, and my Kiwi friend whom I didn't know at all two years ago. I was mindless of my job, my other friends, my relatives, my problems, my future plans... and it was, for a moment, heavenly.

Chris was the fun friend he is -- an expert diver who is silly underwater whenever he has the opportunity. But then, at one point, I looked over to him with some mixed-up emotions. He and his girlfriend Krista leave the island today for good. They're going to travel Europe together for a few months, while their dollars last, and then move onto something new. When I looked at him, I was pleased that he and I could spend a fun, totally tension-free day diving together. But I also thought about how we all leave here. I thought about how there's always this underlying sense of something missing here on the island... otherwise, why would we all leave? I know very few people who plan to reside in St. Maarten forever -- even students who have grown up here.

For me, I've always said that being here has been like a working vacation, complete with the deadlines, flings, heartaches, marking, sand, planning, and more heartache. Professionally, it is time to move on from this paradise. Personally, it is also time. Today, I am sad; some friends are leaving, some friends are changing, and some friends are disappointing. As much as I loved Saba, and as much as I will cry buckets when I leave my island, today I just want to be back to the familiar.